I'm pretty sure I just made a monumental statement. My 17-year old son made a mistake recently. It's the FIRST mistake he's made in 17 years that has resulted in grounding. I'm a very lucky Mom and I hope things stay on that course.
Part of me resorted to the fact that he's a teenager and to "expect" not so great things at times. A few days later I realized THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE.
When I discovered his "mistake", a very unexpected one at that, I had a conversation with my son about the things that parents just expect of teens, even if they don't REALLY expect them. It was the proactive speech per se.
YES! I want to be proactive, but NO I don't expect those things of you. You're better than that. So, I said to my son "make me proud". Then, I changed my mind. I said "better yet, make YOU proud".
I really hope that resonates in his mind. I don't want be just another parent who allows the "he's a teenager" excuse.
He's better than that and he needs to know it.